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Originally Posted by cheryl000 I have noticed with the younger kids it's easier if you help them along. Like don't just tell them to pick up their toys, but assist them in it. But if that doesn't work, or you have an older child that won't pick up his room, get the trashbag out and "throw things away." Then really put it in the garage. I did this with Dominick's train set that he wouldn't put away last week. Then you say, "Okay, you better pick up the rest of the room or the trash bag is coming." Or even say, "Remember last week when the trashbag came?" This works on my son and my nephew VERY well. Just be prepared for crying. But I don't like spanking because I was spanked as a child so I do that as a last resort.
I remember when I was young I was very bad about listening to my parents. I resented them. I believe that every kid in the family tries to find their place. Since getting good grades (I had straight A's) wasn't earning the attention that my older and younger sister were getting I choose not to listen to my parents when they told me to do chores. The only thing that really worked on my was good old fashioned praise. When I do something I have alot of pride in it and I thrive on recognition. I wouldn't clean the house if my parents where there. But if I knew my parents were going to be gone for hours, I would round my sisters up and we would clean the house and cook my parents dinner. I loved it if my parents praised me for that.
So what I'm saying is that we have to teach kids the real reason why we do chores and do have pride in it. Rewards even only go so far because then they're just doing it for the money and then they will expect it every time. Have you had a family conference to sit down and talk about everything? Encourage the kids to put everything on the table and talk about it. This is really important since it's giving you so many family problems. I would also try to read some books to get some ideas. Dr. Phil wrote a good one but I can't remember the name. Good luck and I hope this helps. |
I was hit a little too much as well, but you can best believe I will test that butt if they get out of line. I started this when they were little and don't really hit them now. My son is now 12 and getting too old for spankings, and I have read different books on the matter and they have yet to work for me. They don't yell at your kids. Yeah right!!! That's the only way they know I'm not messing around. I need to get to the point without having to tell him more then once to do something and not get to the point of wanting to beat him. And I worry about the reward thing too. I don't want him to expect it all the time. I do think talking to your kids is a very good thing. And I know that with my girls I really feel they feel comfortable coming to me with anything. But my son,,,,,,, well that's a different matter. I really like the teaching of pride in the chores, again my girls get it but not my son. Is this just a boy thing????