[Latuya]

I have 3 children myself 2 girls and a boy. The boy is the middle child and he is a handful as well. I have always been fair with my kids. My kids are spoiled and I will be the first to admit it. BUT they do work for what they get. With the girls it comes so easy. Both get good grades both are very good girls. Now I know ever kid is different but my son is really really different. I know he is no all A student, but I know he is smart, yet he does poorly at school. I talk to him, ground him, but once he starts doing better, I do reward him. But he's not happy with that, so when he messes up, I take it away. I will give my kids the world but the moment they mess up it will slowly be taken away if the strainghten up.

Take my oldest daughter, she is 15 tomorrow and loves body piercing. Some would say she is too young but she has been a strainght "A" student since kinder. She is a good girl. She's a home body. What I mean by that is, she has lots and lots of friends and chooses not to go out and stay at home. She much rather have her friends come here to hang with her then going to a party. She does like going to the mall and the movies every so often but she is always here at home. So when she came to me asking about getting her belly pierced at 14 I let her. But she knew that if her grades dropped and she started slacking or messing up in anyway shape or form, that thing would be taken out faster they then she got it. Soon after she got her lip and now she has her tongue done. Some may think I'm bad mother for letting my daughter do this but, I really don't care what others may think of me. I seem to be doing a very good job with something in order for her to only be in 9th grade and already taking collage courses.

My son just looks at what I let her "get away with" as he calls it. But he does not understand that she isn't the one who's teachers are calling me every week and giving bad reports. Or she is not the one doing stupid things and getting into trouble all the time. He doesn't seem to understand that giving him many chances to start over by the little things like being able to go outside without doing something stupid, or going a week without a call from a teacher is the key to getting what he wants. We just started giving him money for chorses, but if we get a call that week we take away the money. So we are going on a month of this and he's doing better. I got his report card yesterday and although it wasnt perfect it was a big improvement. I know he can still do better, but I'm happy. So he thought it would be ok to get his lip pierced like his sister for the the better report card and didn't understand why I said no. So now we are back at,, "why does Des get what ever she wants when she wants something?!?!?!" I told him I was proud of him and it was a step but we are not even to where I know he can be to be getting what his sister gets. First of all she is almost 3 years older then him, and second I don't think it's fair that he gets what he wants for just so little. I told him that if he kept it up till he is 14 like his sister was, then we can talk. We also have an agreement,,,,, if he were to come home and an all "A" report card he will get his cell phone. But here is the catcher, he will have to keep it up. I don't mean all "A" every report, but we are in agreement of what a good report card is.

I too am always yelling at him. And I am tired of it too. He just does not know when to stop. So I too would like some advice on this matter as well. For me the rewards have seem to work, but I guess we will have to wait and see. I think he's starting to see that if mom is happy he too will be happy. And the sooner he sees that it really don't take much to do good and keep it up is not all that hard to do.

Thanks for posting this topic, I will follow it closely and see what others come up with. I hope we can both get some good advice here. Good luck to you!