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Originally Posted by AmyZinNC we have two boys. Jonathan will be 5 in April and Andrew will be 7 in June.
we have GOT to get things under control in this house.
Let me preface by saying my youngest is ADHD w/ Sensory Integration. So he CAN be a huge handful. His medication for the ADHD works wonders and he goes to occupational therapy for his Sensory issues. I do take all this into consideration. But let me tell you, early am before his meds are given and late afternoon until bedtime are horendous here.
my oldest has a mild form of ADD, but only takes meds for school concentration. It doesn't really affect his behaviour if he has has meds or not.
So, hubby and I are at our wits end. We are tired of the contant yelling, "go to your rooms', etc...its causing friction between us!
We have decided we need to crack down NOW, and we think we're going to start with a reward/chore chart.
Time outs do not do a thing for them. The only punishemnts that show any effect are taking away tv time and riding their bicycles and dirt bikes.
So I guess my question is, if you used this method, how did it work out for you?
I think this was more of a vent than anything, and if you've gotten this far, thanks!!
One harried momma!! |
What do you mean by horendous?? What is it they're doing? too rowdy? loud?
I have an ADD son also. He's 17 tomorrow, and uses No meds. They helped him during his elem. years, but by Middle School, they had a more negative effect. They didn't mix well w/ 13 yr. old hormones. He did much better w/out meds at that age. I also didn't have him on Meds Full time. He didn't take it unless he was going to school. Evenings, weekends, summer breaks were Med-Free. The Dr. told me that ADD kids need to learn Coping skills and that its hard for them to do that if on meds full time. ..I'm not familiar with sensory issues.
It's great that you are looking for other solutions, as I've learned with ADD kids....one size doesn't fit all....or in other words, you have to keep looking/trying solutions til you find what works best for the child.
What worked for me, or didn't work....Yelling does Not work. ADD kids tend to be highly emotional & their feelings get hurt easily. They are Easily discouraged and need TONS of Positive reinforcement...Mine did better w/ More structure in his routine. It's almost like he didn't know how to handle tooo much 'free' time. He had to have Clearly set expectations, in all area's....school, chores, behavior, etc... Chore charts are great since ADD kids are usually forgetful, plus it's a chance for Positive praise when he completes a chore. I used lots of 'great job' stickers beside a completed chore on chart. When he was young, we tried to keep to a routine as much as possible...home from school...30 minutes of snack and 'down' time, then homework, chores, outside time, dinnertime, bathtime, tv time, bed....that kind of thing.
Consistant consequenses to unacceptable behavior.
I never sent him to his room when he was younger. Heck! That was a Fun place to go w/ all his toys, games, etc... I used 'Nose-it'. Which meant he had to put his nose against a wall and stand there til his time was up. Age appropriate time, a minute per year his age was. The time would start over if he talked, played, etc...He quickly learned to stand there and be quiet. It also gave him time to 'settle' down so he would listen to me when we talked about why he was in trouble and that he KNEW the consequenses of said behavior.
I would also give warnings like someone else said....When I'd see his behavior was starting to get out of hand, I'd warn him with...'Ok, thats' Strike One'...And he knew if I got to three, he'd be nosing it, or losing a priviledge.
As he got older, and Nose it, didn't really work anymore....I started taking away his favorite things. I would warn him first, using the 3 strikes, its Out warning. I would take away, favorite tv shows, his nintendo, toys, etc...I Knew I was on the right track one day when he ASKED me...'Can't you just give me a spanking instead??' LOL...
Now, I still use the 'taking away' of things.(Which doesn't happen often anymore) He's Really into pc's and x-box gaming....He can have full use of both AS LONG as his school work is completed and turned in. I've also taken away phone and tv priviledges. I guess the main thing is don't give Idle threats. If you say your taking something away, follow through.
EEK! This got longer than I intended! LOL. I hope you don't mind. Good luck finding what will work well for the boys!