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Originally Posted by Carmeow  Yes, it has been overwhelming. I'm sorry I haven't responded to everyone. Thank you to everyone who offered me advice here and in PMs. We had a very, very long talk last night. I think we will be okay if he keeps showing me that he's trying. Not just long enough to get out of jail free, but for the long run. I kepttelling him I wanted him to promise me things would change, but he is afraid to break a promise if he doesn't live up to my very high expectations. I just wanted him to know that I dont WANT to feel like his mother, but right now I do. It won't happen overnight.
I don't care who gets mad at me for not immediately breaking up with him. I came here pointing out the negatives but it isn't the whole picture, and its not an accurate portrait of who he is. I have to admit that I have thought for a long time that I may be struggling with OCD. I've never admitted that, even to myself, that it may be pretty serious case of it. Old habits die hard I guess but you can change habits if you keep working at it. I think I'm very hard on him and he puts up with it. I love him for that reason. So I should love him for his flaws too. |
I thought I was borderline OCD too. I thought about therapy, lightening up on him. Finally when it ended (I was older than you) I had time for a lot of reflection and thought. It occurred to me that I was a perfectionist because the cleanliness of my home did 2 things....gave me control over something in my life and, the outward neatness hid the inner chaos and mess of HIM. No one saw the relationship, they saw a clean beautiful home, thought we had it made together.