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Originally Posted by Carmeow  Sorry for the late reply...he felt bad so he took me out to eat  I agree, he probably will never change...it's sad that I've began to realize this. I ask myself if I can deal with this my entire life because if we get married, this is how its gonna be. I have dated other guys and he hasnt.
Heres the thing though. We were long distance for three years. It was completely heartbreaking buut we put so much into getting together that it is hard to question if my decision was the right one. He's my best friend, I really do love him with all my heart and have wanted no one else since I was fifteen. IT's hard. I know I have the right to leave him if I wanted, but I gave up my life for him. My friends, my family, my hometown, moved across the country to be with him! I have given him an ultimatum before. Told him I would buy a plane ticket home and never come back if he didnt get his act together. It took him a whole year to get a job but he finally did get one. It's just kinda pathetic...
I know, dont baby him. Ive tried that, trust me, but he will literally let the entire bedroom floor be covered in dirty clothes, dishes overflowing, five trashbags set out. He doesnt get it...what I guess I'm really looking for is how to let myself accept him how he is. |
Well I guess I might as well share more about my life.. I am 38 have never been married (yes I know you are confused now lol).. He will be 34 the 24th and still lived at his mom's house he grew up in even thou she was staying with her boyfriend BUT she came to the house every week to wash his clothes make sure he had food, soap, shampoo etc. Because of one of my knee surgeries I went to stay with him to help me out after we had dated 3 months and well my home burnt down and we have been together ever since so that is why everybody just calls us husband and wife. Now he grew up with an abusive stepfather so he is a verbally abusive type and after 6 years I realized he was never going to give me a ring so I packed and left... He went got anger help quit his job got a better job and went and rented US a house on a side of town I wanted to live on... Things were great even if he had to move to Tenn for a year we still got along great he started sending me flowers spoiling me with gifts and got me Guinness the "little dog" he told me he would never own... After he got back from Tenn he is starting to go back to verbal abusive.. He knows I have self esteem issues and social anxiety so it's easy for him to push the right buttons to set me into a panic attack and I blame nobody but myself because I know I should have stayed gone but at this point I have so much invested.. House, cars, dogs, boat, bank accounts, furniture etc that it's just easier for me to suck it up put on my big girl panties and deal with it.
So sadly that is the only advice I can give.. Just be unhappy learn to resent him and yourself and deal with it or....