[alaskayorkie]

OMG, my wife is the worst. It used to embarrass me, but now I just shrug and tip a little extra.

First of all, she never orders anything exactly as it appears on the menu. Even at fast-food places. "I'll have a taco with meat and cheese only." I'll have a burger. Hold the onions and mayo and give me some margarine on the side. Oh, and put the lettuce on the side on an extra plate."

Breakfast: "I'll have my eggs over-medium hard." WTF does that mean? Oh, she'll tell you. "The yolk can be soft, but the whites have to be hard. If there's any jiggling, I'll send it back." Believe me, she does.

Fries: They HAVE to be extra crispy. She sends them back routinely because they're not crispy enough.

Then she needs extra plates, extra napkins and, of course, Grey Poupon mustard.

I don't even try to order for her because I'll inevitably screw it up.