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Originally Posted by msyorktown  I don't get it..  What is wrong with people??? So from what I gather even having POA...Its useless?? So why even have it?? And you do have power of attorney over his finances? But that still gives you no control?? You are the one that has been watching/caring for him for what 10 years now?? And the doctors wont listen to you??  This is soo frustrating!! If he is so unhappy with you, for me personally I would be saying 'fine then go'. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but what else can you do? You have no recourse but to let him do what he wants to do. There is no way you can leave your babies with just anyone just to suit one of his whims. He's been travelling thus far all over the world..what more does he want.
Seems he's really manipulative with everyone around him. That with vultures circling...just waiting to snap him up.
He's lucky to have had you for this long, putting up this. Hunny you have a life to live as well...your first priority should be YOU, and your babies. Sorry not your father. I think it is time to live your life for yourself, instead of worrying yourself sick for someone who is unwilling to at least compromise. Sweetie stress can really do a number on your health...what happens if you now become ill?? What happens then.
He's being very selfish, in expecting you to leave the girls, one with AAI to boot. You have to do what is best for you, no one else, just you.
You have done all you can for him thus far, its time for you now. |
msyorktown:
Everything you said above is right on, you have him pegged!!! You're right, the POA is really useless unless the person goes along with you as their decision maker, is too out of it to fight you on it, or is comatose or on a vent or something. If your family member does not fight you, and accepts you as the decision maker, then you can take control, but if the person fights you on it, and wants to maintain their own control, they have that right legally. This is the insane part. I have been told time and time again "having dementia does not make you incompetent". Well then, what on earth does????? Goodness, what does a person have to do to before they are deemed incompetent? One thing though, I need to clear up. I have been caring for my dad for three years, not ten. My mom passed away three years ago. But these 3 years have seemed like a lifetime, believe me. I am doing it all myself with no family or friends around to help. My dearest sister died 7 years ago, and when I lost her, I lost my world. That is why my babies are so important to me. They are my fur babies and they mean everything to me. The whole situation really reeks!!!