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Originally Posted by Ellie May  We have someone with dementia in the family. Also lived with my gpa fot many years bc my mom was there to help him out. Oh my the attitudes and with dementia, the tantrums...
i'm not sure how it works in your state, but my assumption is those with dementia have a guardian there. He is probably extremely intelligent and able to make sound decisions a lot of the time, but obviously not all the time. So if he had a guardian this would be taken out of his hands. I do understand this is really difficult. I do think if it is to the point where he is controlling and/or manipulating you and/or making unwise choices that you can't reSonably control and/or you are so exhausted from it all it ay be time to look at other living arrangements for him.
Honestly, this is how I feel - if my parents cannot accept that my dog goes on vacay with me, hen I am not going to go if I do not want to.
In this state of mental health, it would be unsafe for him to run around making his own decisions. Somebody has to have control of him. |
As I am reading and re reading your responses, they make such total sense, and they are so obvious. Why does the community not support families who are caregiving their elderly parents. Why don't the doctors and the law? They impede families ability to have some control in their parents lives and make it a hell on earth. I do understand why some children just throw up their hands and give up, leaving their parents to their own devices. Believe me, I have felt that way more than once. I know my mom wanted my dad to live with me when she died. But if he is so unhappy here, and longs for freedom and a new wife, maybe I should just let him go. I don't know what is right any more.