Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellie May  I think he is being unreasonable.
You have been kind enough to be his caretaker. Daughter or not, you do not have to do this. He has already travelled a ton. It seems he just wants to do what he wants to do which is probably from the dementia. You don't have to be ordered around because of this. If uou drop your life for a week at a time and fly him all over the place, you DO have a major say in how it is going to go. You don't have to take him at all...
So if you really want to take him, lay ground rules. "The dogs are going or I am not". And don't feel bad about putting the pups first. You really aren't anyway. You have already made major sacrifices for him. Or if he has money to be taking cruises then you could give him the option of hiring a caregiver to take him.
But of course only take the AAI girl if you thinkit is safe... |
Thanks Crystal,
I feel so guilty thinking the above things about my own dad! But he really doesn't seem to appreciate the fact that I am his caregiver, and actually, he wants to go alone if I can't go. He doesn't think he NEEDS a caregiver. He inappropriately comes on to females, (pretty females) and flirts right in front of me. I know he thinks that it is harmless, but all I can think of is my poor mom who was so devoted to him. I know he wants to be young again, who doesn't, but he doesn't seem to accept reality. I keep toying with the idea of just letting him go and do whatever he wants to do alone by himself, but I really do think that would be irresponsible of me. I'm very conflicted! He was tested by the VA's premier Geriatric unit in La Jolla, CA. and they do say he has vascular dementia. Sometimes it is more pronounced than others. I am just so very confused. He was tested 3 years ago, as per my mom's dying wish, "please get your dad tested" she asked me before she passed. She knew there was something wrong with him for a long time. She was afraid of alzheimers. He doesn't have alzheimers, but he does have some kind of dementia, which only gets worse in time, not better. There are times when he is clear, and there are times when he is confused. I don't want him to feel "trapped" living with me....I just don't know what to do. I will talk to my wholistic vet and see what she comes up with.
Thanks,
Shellie