What a dilemma you have here...and I'm so sorry you're experiencing it
I'm in a similar position, but different if that makes sense. I am the care-giver to my parents who are in their mid-80's. They are both still alive though. Also, I only have one Littlie - Harry who is quite a big boy.
However, when THEY want to go away, and I have to take them wherever, they too want it to be 'just the 3 of us' with no restriction. They want to be able to sit in restaurants without thought or rush, and go to the 'best hotels' without worrying if Harry's making a racket in the room - which he does....
Andy (my husband) works really long hours, my sister has cats that HATE Harry....all the reasons go on and on, and they ARE reasons, not excuses. My parents both absolutely ADORE Harry, but - just for those few weeks in the year - they want to do exactly what they want to do without thought or worry.
I truly feel that your holistic vet is the best solution to your problem. That and recommendations from her. I personally put ads in our local paper and in our vet's office. I interviewed absolutely loads of people, took up references IN PERSON, went to their homes, made them come to our home, surveyed for a long time how Harry and 'the person' interacted....until I was totally happy and secure in my heart.
I then chose 2 people, so that they could cover for one another, if need be. I then took Harry to each one and left him just for a day the first time (9-5). Then I did an over-nighter. Gradually building up the time (both for Harry and myself!)
I must admit, it works like a dream, and Harry absolutely ADORES Lisa (his main lady).
I do know how awful this is for you, and I truly hope you can sort something out that suits ALL of you. Good luck. Sally + Harry x