[navillusc]

In addition to what others, like Yorkietalkjilly and Chattiesmom, have already said, I would ONLY 'work' with the dog when I was alone with him until a rapport was established. It is too easy with you and GF present to give mixed or conflicting signals to Jake. Except for the addition of your GF, the situation seems very much like what I typically encounter working with feral animals.

Until a rapport ('trust' and 'understanding') is established with Jake, I'd politely ignore him (when he was watching). If he were to become interested in me, I'd allow him to approach without looking at him, allow him to sniff, touch, whatever, without moving or saying anything, but I'd still ignore him. I'd move slowly and smoothly when around him. I'd speak in soft tones and maintain an even keel. If he approached me, I'd change directions. If he was on one sofa, I'd sit elsewhere facing away from him. I'd turn away, avert my eyes (think kitty 'winky-eye'), and walk away...a lot. I'd not approach him head on, but walk forward toward him from a side angle and zigzag as necessary, slowly and gently. I'd not give him a treat by handing it to him, but by laying it down while he's watching and moving away from it and not looking back at it or him.

When a care-giver in GF's absence, I'd maintain a matter-of-fact "just doing my job" aloofness. I'd let him scream if he wants to but clip the lead and take him out anyway. I'd clean up any mess with complete emotional detachment.

Given time and space but maintaining proximity (think cat-hater's paradox...i.e. reverse psychology...where a cat hater draws the cat to him by ignoring the cat but cat lovers push away the cat trying to attract him), he will likely begin to see you as a trustworthy friend BECAUSE you let HIM make the first moves in his own good time rather than as an AGGRESSOR because YOU make the first moves when he's not yet ready.

With the exception of required care...food, water, walks, etc...I'd treat Roxy however she wanted me to treat her...play, hold, pet, etc...while Jake gets used to me. If Jake wants the same treatment that Roxy gets, some adjustment will be necessary on his part...and I'd allow HIM to make know what HIS wishes from me are.

I am not being cruel when I say these things...I'm being polite to Jake. I'd want to remove all behavior from myself that might be seen as 'aggressive' to HIS way of thinking.

I am sorry you are in this position. It would be great to be able to treat both Roxy and Jake the same all the time, but since they are so different, different methods of dealing with them are necessary.

Good luck!