Quote:
Originally Posted by McheleM  In an American court, the first thing a judge and attorney would ask is "did you say no?". "did you ask him to stop?". "did you try to fight him off?"
Yes, in a technical sense the girl was raped. She was scared and allowed something to happen that she didn't really want. However, because of her fear and her failure to say no, the man can honestly say "I didn't know she didn't want to". We know nothing about the people in question. We don't know their backgrounds or who they really are. Perhaps this woman makes a habit of not saying no. Perhaps the man makes a habit of preying on women who wont say no. Or perhaps this woman really wanted to and when things got out of hand didnt know how to handle things? Perhaps this man took her failure to say no as a sign that she really wanted to. Since we don't know either of them and none of us were there with them, it's really hard to say.
I know I've done things before and then regretted it later. I could have said no, but didn't. I don't feel I was raped. I just made a bad decision.
I don't believe women who dress scantily or provocative deserve to be raped, nor do I believe that all women "want it". I do believe that there are men in this world who do what they want and use fear to get women to give in. I also believe that women should speak up. Whether it be a loud and resounding NO, or a "I'm not going to allow this person to get away with this" I also believe that not all men are horrible creatures who use force and fear to get what they want. There are good men out there and often, they get lumped in with the bad guys. There are also bad women out there, who make it harder for the good women to be heard.
If the woman truly feels she was raped, be it date rape, acquaintance rape or whatever term we put to it, she needs to report it. |
My opinion:
this brings back to mind about Mike Tyson and the case of the young woman who accused him of rape. All that I remember of this particular case is that she went up to his room, removed an personal item...to me, what did she think was going to happen next? I certainly, DO NOT excuse what happened, but at what point is the woman responsible for any of the situation?
Please do not get me wrong, when a woman says "no", it should mean no. If a woman pushes the limit then she should also be accountable. I do not understand how a sober, conscious, capable person could openly go into a situation and then feel that they were treated wrongly.
No, a man should stop immediately when a woman says no, however if a woman is giving mixed signals--be it that they get themselves into a situation, do not say no, or just want to play by their own rules, how much of the responsibilty should the woman bear for the situation?