have to put my two cents in here. this is a strange one for me to happen to come back to YT and talk again for the first time in ages, but here goes:
As a woman who was date raped once before, I understand how your friend must have felt and what she went through. My situation was that I went to a friend's house to watch a movie with him and decided to spend the night there because of an ice storm. I wanted to kiss him and cuddle with him and allowed that to happen. Then he tried to take it further and place hands where I didn't want them. I said NO several times but he kept trying and at that point I felt very scared that maybe I didn't know this man as well as I had thought. I got scared that if I tried to leave he would hurt me even though he may not have. I let him touch me and even touched back because I was afraid if I showed him I was scared or didn't want to he would force me and it was easier to be somewhat in control than being hurt and forced. So that's what happened to me. It was horrible, terrifying, and I did leave in the morning feeling dirty and violated. I never wanted to speak to him again and didn't after that even when he tried to contact me again. He said as I left that he knew if a girl said NO and he kept trying she'd always give in. That's how I knew he was a serial date rapist. He doesn't force necessarily, but he goes past their NO and that's rape, he's making girls do things after they say NO and that's still rape. NO I have never reported him, and yes I have been in therapy for this. I don't report because I don't even remember his full name now, we never had intercourse, and because I don't want anyone that knows me to find out other than my husband who knows about it. I actually left his company that night for this other guy and what a stupid choice that was.
So in closing yes date rape is certainly rape even if the NO isn't as loud and out there as it should be, scaring someone into sexual acts is a bad thing PERIOD. |