Wow! Thanks for all of the great replies, I see that I'm not alone with this problem! The good news is that the new guy already got the boot, and Linus and Kimchee never got kicked out of the bed
It turned out that the new guy HATED Linus and Kimchee because they apparently smell bad (they don't! Well, maybe Linus has morning breath, but, give a dog a break!), he was mad that he had to wash his clothes after he was at my house because apparently he was covered in "dog smell," and he would only be ok with things if Linus & Kimchee didn't sleep in the bed, didn't lick him, and WEREN'T IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM! They. Are. Dogs. Seriously.
Good learning experience though, I'm only considering dog-lovers in the future. I mean, dogs are basically pure joy and love jumping around on 4 legs -- how can you not love that? Major red flag.
Anyway, problem solved -- thanks for all of the advice!