YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community - View Single Post - Pledging to make a change in myself. Starting now.

Carmeow · 02-20-2012, 09:30 PM

Rant ahead. Please don't bash me for "trying to get attention". I promise this is mostly therapeutical for myself to get this all out.

I just turned 20 two days ago. I'm 5'4, and I weigh probably 210 pounds. In high school I started out around 150, was on the dance team, was in musicals, competitive show choir, and danced at a studio. Most importantly, I was a vegan. I did not eat a BITE of ANY animal product from 2006-2010.

After graduation I left home and went to college out of town. I began eating meat and dairy again. I didn't have any exercise at all. Freshman 15 became freshman 50. I was really sick my freshman year of college and failed out of the university. I was very depressed in general. I came back home, and my parents were so unsupportive. They rubbed it in my face that I failed at school. My father became physically abusive with me. I moved out, then I spent this past summer vacationing with my boyfriend. Ate what I pleased. I took my life into my own hands. I moved to Texas, I am now living in an apartment with my boyfriend and 4 other roommates, all of which are very fit and active and have pretty girls over all the time who are healthy and gorgeous.

My self-esteem has flatlined. I've felt so miserable about myself I didn't even realize it until I just had a breakdown. My body is different and I'm just now seeing how bad it is. My FACE looks different. That's what got me the most. So I want to make a change...in the past I was horrible about dieting. Never stuck to it. I'm going to firstly make use of the free gym this apartment has, secondly I will join a Zumba class as that will hopefully reignite the spark in my heart for dance. I'll never be the girl jogging for 5 miles through the park, but I need to improve my health, especially because I'm bringing a new puppy into my life and I want to give her the best life possible, and that isn't gonna happen sitting around on the couch.

My friend died last night at age 18, and it has been so hard on me and I want to LIVE for her, I want to live every day to it's fullest. I can't keep wasting my life away...

If you've stuck with me this far, please leave ANY words of encouragement you have for me. Any advice. I need it. I want to hold myself to this promise. I'll be updating with progress either on this thread or maybe on the blog feature of YT.

02-20-2012, 09:30 PM	#1
Carmeow I♥ my girls Luma+Rosie Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Aggieland, TX Posts: 3,359	Pledging to make a change in myself. Starting now. Rant ahead. Please don't bash me for "trying to get attention". I promise this is mostly therapeutical for myself to get this all out. I just turned 20 two days ago. I'm 5'4, and I weigh probably 210 pounds. In high school I started out around 150, was on the dance team, was in musicals, competitive show choir, and danced at a studio. Most importantly, I was a vegan. I did not eat a BITE of ANY animal product from 2006-2010. After graduation I left home and went to college out of town. I began eating meat and dairy again. I didn't have any exercise at all. Freshman 15 became freshman 50. I was really sick my freshman year of college and failed out of the university. I was very depressed in general. I came back home, and my parents were so unsupportive. They rubbed it in my face that I failed at school. My father became physically abusive with me. I moved out, then I spent this past summer vacationing with my boyfriend. Ate what I pleased. I took my life into my own hands. I moved to Texas, I am now living in an apartment with my boyfriend and 4 other roommates, all of which are very fit and active and have pretty girls over all the time who are healthy and gorgeous. My self-esteem has flatlined. I've felt so miserable about myself I didn't even realize it until I just had a breakdown. My body is different and I'm just now seeing how bad it is. My FACE looks different. That's what got me the most. So I want to make a change...in the past I was horrible about dieting. Never stuck to it. I'm going to firstly make use of the free gym this apartment has, secondly I will join a Zumba class as that will hopefully reignite the spark in my heart for dance. I'll never be the girl jogging for 5 miles through the park, but I need to improve my health, especially because I'm bringing a new puppy into my life and I want to give her the best life possible, and that isn't gonna happen sitting around on the couch. My friend died last night at age 18, and it has been so hard on me and I want to LIVE for her, I want to live every day to it's fullest. I can't keep wasting my life away... If you've stuck with me this far, please leave ANY words of encouragement you have for me. Any advice. I need it. I want to hold myself to this promise. I'll be updating with progress either on this thread or maybe on the blog feature of YT. __________________ Carmen, mama to Luma & my little angel in Heaven, Rosie.