Cindy, I really hope that after you've had a chance to catch your breath a little and the pain is not so fresh, that you'll come back. Please know that 99.9% of the members here are very kind and have the best of intentions. There is no excuse for those that attacked you and I'm so sorry for that, especially at this painful time
If you don't decide to rejoin us, then I wish you and your little Sadi well and I hope that in time, your heart will heal and you won't blame yourself anymore for something that you didn't know.
HUGS!!!!!!