[chachi]

Originally Posted by imdll

I have commented that some on this board behave like school children sometimes but as another poster pointed out in many schools bullying behaviour is not tolerated and children who participate in it come under disciplinary action. In that regard as far as the standard we hold ourselves to as adults, we may have some catching up to do, and yes as a civilized and democratic society we do have standards that we hold ourselves to. That is why we have hate laws and cyberbullying laws etc. We do not live in a society where anything goes and where we are not accountable for our behaviour and yes as members of society we have a right to expect a certain level of civility from one another. That doesn’t mean we have to be the same nor does it mean we have to agree. It’s in how those issues are handled. The internet does not give us the “right” to regress into a society of no holds barred free for all verbal communication.

There are some interesting catch phrases I see tossed around like "posting styles" and that some things are a matter of "opinion". Of course there are different personalities and “posting styles” and “opinions”. But let’s not use that as an excuse for aggressive or abusive behaviour. This has happened on several different occasions and sometimes it’s worse than others. Let’s also recognize that it is not uncommon for abusive people to minimize their behaviour, claiming to be misunderstood. That doesn't change whether or not the behaviour was indeed abusive.

Some have referred to the right to free speech and seem to believe you can say whatever you want because this is a public board. Not all speech is protected under the law and so no actually you can't just say whatever you want. That notion has gotten a number of people in hot water with the law because of what has now been termed"cyber bullying". “Cyberbullying” is a serious thing and I’m not saying that is what goes on here all the time but there have been times when the line has gotten very fuzzy and the aggression level has gotten rather high as people start feeding off one another and the object of the aggression or person gets trampled in the process and sometimes leaves YT. What benefit is then gained? Other than thumping one’s chest and claiming some sort of victory for being right, was any actual progress made or was just another person driven off that might have benefited from being here and learning from the others?

We get upset over how some people treat their dogs when they are training them. Is some of the aggressive behaviour on this board so very different? If you can’t justify it when you are training a dog how can you justify it when dealing with a person? Those who have been quick to be “blunt” or “aggressive” or “judgemental” or whatever other descriptor one chooses to use seem to be awfully quick to jump to their own defence if someone is equally blunt or aggressive or judgmental etc. about their behaviour. If you personally don’t appreciate that approach what makes you think someone else appreciates it from you?

If we want someone to listen to what we have to say, don’t we have to approach things in a way that helps them hear it? Yes sometimes being blunt can shake a person into reality but often there needs to be some level of trust between you before they are going to listen. Some people have been accused of “sugarcoating” things or supporting inappropriate behaviour by not speaking out strongly enough. Those who have spoken privately with members who have come under verbal attacks were able to do so because they did not come in the front door guns blazing.

Saying that some people shouldn’t be allowed to own dogs or that animal welfare laws should be changed etc. may be true statements in some settings but when referring to a specific OP in an open forum it is not something that is likely to assist in keeping he lines of communication open. Being hostile closes the door and if the welfare of the dog is genuinely our concern would it not be in the dog’s best interest to keep the lines of communication open? A less aggressive approach also makes the environment here at YT much more pleasant for everyone involved. Yes there is the ignore button but should we really have to use it, and should we be proud of ourselves if we suspect many people have hit the ignore button on us? Maybe it’s instead an indicator that we have some rough edges to polish? Does that mean we can’t vent or rant now and again and that all has to be flowers and rainbows? Of course not, but when we are dealing with a controversial situation that we hope to see end positively, or not be repeated, the way to work toward a positive end is to keep the door open so learning can continue and the person chooses to stay and learn from the variety of members here at YT.

So why do I care? What does this have to do with me? I could not, in good conscience, sit back and say nothing as different members have been verbally attacked and some driven away from YT by a vocal minority. I believe the members of YT have a great deal to offer. That’s why I chose to come here and why I hope some of the people who have had negative experiences will consider staying or coming back. YT is like it's own little society and as members we can choose what sort of environment we want YT to have. In the end it will depend on what the society of YT decides their values and standards are.

If they were attacked then we would have been suspended under YT rules. Just because you tell someone the truth that they are not properly caring for their dog by not taking it to the vet is not attacking. Sorry we do have a right to tell the truth even when it isnt butterflies and rainbows. It just seems like this forum has an admin and mods to determine if someones post is out of line