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Originally Posted by McheleM  Hubby is on board with whatever. He and i usually discuss punishmentsand things, hes just at his whits end too.
The bad part is when someone tries to teach him, or correct him, he refuses to listen. My husband is a plumber and takes him with him to work in the summers- he refuses to listen when my husband tells him how to do something. He gets an "I already know how attitude" and it irritates my husband to no end! My husband has been plumbing for 18 years and learned at the side of his dad, how to do plumbing properly. He owns his own business and needs things to be done correctly and cant afford yo go back and redo things. Time is money..... My son has only lived with us 3 yrs. Before that he lived with his biological father and his dad never did anything with him?
We have tried to explain things, and use them as teaching tools (like the lawnmower) and even took him shopping for the new lawnmower when we bought it, thinking he might appreciate it more but doesn't seem to matter. If you try to do a project with him, he wants to do it his way, not the right way, and if you try to read the instructions or pointnout hey it says slot A goes in slot B he just walks away and is done. He even does this at the hunting lease we own, and my husband is afraid to let him hunt alone becuase he refuses to listen and hes afraid he'll accidentally shoot himself or someone else. We aren't overly strict, in fact I don't even really ask much other than their room laundry and him taking out the trash. I don't expect them to do anything I would have to do if I didn't have kids. (dishes, vacuuming, taking care of my dogs).
The 20 yr old doesn't live here, she's married and has her own apartment. The 18 yr old is about to go off to college and wouldn't touch a shelf or hammer or drill if her life depended on it. She is good about including him in things like movies and outings with her and her friends. |
Ok I think I understand now. He has only been with you guys for 3 yrs, so he still isn't used to how he wants it, I guess. Also if you tell him to do something, he won't want to do it. He has to want to do it on his own. (Just like me.) Also it's the way you show him how something is done, and he doesn't like how it's being delivered (me again). This was like the first time I was learning to drive a stick, or going snowboarding, both were against my will, I was basically told I had to learn. Made me not want to do it before I even tried. Now I love doing both, thanks to a different way of teaching.
I agree with the community college classes or apprenticeship. That way it's instruction by someone outside the family. My going to design school changed the way I took constructive criticism, plus seeing how other students took criticism as well really helped. Is there something he is interested in that he can enroll in a class?
It's just that age in general that's tough. I hated my life from ages 12-17.