I hope I am not to blunt in my post, but your partner needs to look into some parenting classes and counciling for the children...alot of kids will act out to get attention, and with a divorce and now a new mother figure in their life, they may be doing just this...
You said he broke two keys and apparently Dad bought a third one,, why?? That vehicle would remain parked until the kid earned the money to buy another one...If my things were broken unexplained, there wouldn't be any arguement..they would cook the meals I planned until they earned money to purchase me a new one...or they could shop the flea markets to find one compairable to the one I had..
I would set down as a group and have the boys write down the bounderies.. what the house rules are..and what is expected of them while at your house, then all parties sign. Then I would put them somewhere, (not post on the fridge at their age) but perhaps tape to the back of a cabinet door that isn't used everyday..but when a rule gets broken, you can open the cabinet and say ok guys. This is want we agreed to, because I see your signature here... Dad has to be willing to back the plan you come up with 100% and not waiver.
We done this with my husbands two girls they were 12 and 16 when moved in together. It was difficullt for them and the oldest one always just seemed to damage my things while helping out around the apartment. My husband and I came up with this plan and set down with the girls, I had to be willing to change some things to. Like have one shelf in the kitchen that was off limts to them, for my grandmothers dishes and other collectibles passed down to me. Our bedroom was off limits to get things from without asking and I would put the other things in there that I did not want to share with them, like my makeup..she tested the waters and broke one of my grandmothers baking dishes that was on my shelf..She went to the flea markets (which bty she hated) for 3 weeks looking thru space after space and even asking to find a dish that was compairable with the one she broke...she didn't work and was in high school, so it took washing, waxing and cleaning the entire car, and shampooing the carpet in the living room to earn the extra money to purchase it. She tried saying she would pay it out of her child support allowance and we said no, that was money for her upkeep, not her debit....
when she saw her Dad wasn't going to roll over and let her off the hook, and we didn't like doing it either, but her 12 yr old sister gave her crap for 4 weeks over having to be in the sun and heat for 3 hours each week looking for a stupid dish, we NEVER had another issue with my things being damaged....
This was 22 years ago, and I get a Birthday, and Mother's Day card every year..now with gift certificates!!!! Yea!! |