I watched this happen with my grandmother and fully anticipate that within the next 20 years it will happen to my mother. My grandmother began to show signs of dementia and age 65, so it could be sooner, like the next 5 years. I am very very worried about what is going to happen.
It was incredibly taxing on my mother, my parents' marraige and our family as a whole to care for my grandmother. Her behavior turned very violent and my grandfather refused to consider a facility so my mother essentially had to quit her job, spend 10 to 15 hours a day caring for her, getting physically attacked, etc. Often she missed important events in both my life and my father's and only after my mother hurt herself to the point she could not physically provide all the care did my grandfather hire anyone to help.
I feel like I am a bad or heartless person when I read over this thread, because as an only child, business owner, someone just now thinking about having children of my own. I know that I will not be able to provide that level of care myself. As a result I pretty much insisted that my parents purchase long term care insurance and keep their residence close to mine. I know that in ways my parents resent the fact that I want to make sure they have adequately prepared themselves for these things, but with the way the economy has been there is just no way that I can anticipate being able to quit working at anytime before I myself am retirement age and as a result do not think I could provide home care or meaningful financial support to them. In turn I pray everyday that my mom does not develop dementia it is a horrible and frightening disease.
Much admiration for those who provide care for these patients. |