[nana911]

Originally Posted by Cares4Dogs

Imperez I'm so sorry. I understand what your feeling though. I work full time, have been a full time student myself, with a son in college too, a younger teen and a younger one in elementary school. It can get very overwhelming when nobody will help.

You've gotta tuff love the ones who can and wont do anything. My 9-y/o is so used to me doing everything for him that the boy cannot even tie his own shoes. He wont stir his own chocolate milk, wont attempt to pour his own drinks, etc. This is where it gets worse.....If I fix him a plate of food, he will sit there. Half hour goes by and I ask him why he hasnt touched his food, he'll tell me I havent gotten him a fork yet!!! I've recently had a talk with him and told him acting helpless all of the time is hurting him in the longrun and I will not do the little things for him anymore!!!! He did good for few days but then one night I had to chase him into the bathroom to get a bath. I ran his water for him and left the room. Half hour later he is screaming for me to get his underwear, towel & something to wear. I told him "too bad, your not helpless". He froze his behind off for 30 seconds while he had to get his own towel, but thats life. He hasnt forgotten since. I explained to him that nobody gets me a towel, why should it be any different for him?

Its too easy for mom's to get taken advantage of and that in itself can start to wear you down. If someone leaves something out, hide it from them for X amount of time. If they wont clean up, you stop cooking yummie hot meals and toss them a frozen dinner. Hitting an older child in the wallet seems to help with this too.....cut off the gravy train until they can respect the home they are living in.

Take some time for yourself!!! Even to watch a movie. Lock the door so nobody can come in. I dont get to do that often, but when I do I'm in hog heaven.

Sounds like you are starting to get a handle on this problem. I gotta tell you and everyone else. It doesn't get any better unless you get it under control now. The police get calls, continuously from parents of teenagers asking us to step in and parent their kids when it is too late. Once they hit a certain age....it is too late. If you don't get control when they are young you will not get control later. You just will not. You will be bailing them out of jail, they will be dropping out of school and you will be paying the restitution costs for the criminal damage they cause to property and persons. Some parents think when their kids are young that it is easier to give in then to fight with them, and maybe it is...but in the long run, the repercussions are not worth it. Major regrets... Major embarrassment when you have to ask a cop to try to do the job you didn't. Just sayin'