Thank you for your support and prayers. I feel like I cant talk about it with anyone in the family so I keep bottling it up and not letting anyone see me sweat. I dont want my family to re-live the grief of losing my child. It was so hard and it hurt me to see them cry. I'm not the type of person to go blurt out so much personal stuff on a forum like this, but I have to have some outlet that I can talk about it and not feel like I'm hurting someone I love in the process.
I fell apart when I came home from the hospital tonight. I had to hide it from the kids cuz I dont want them to worry about their daddy. I locked myself in the bedroom. I feel so helpless. I want to go to the cemetary and pray at my sons grave side and maybe I can put some of the old buried grief back to rest and try to deal with my husband as a seperate entity, but its an hour and 1/2 drive away and I cant leave town with my husband so sick and have kids and my yorkies. |