Natasha, I wish I could say something that could heal some of the pain you feel. Each of us handles grief differently. I know I won't ever let go of my little girls, but it won't stop me from loving again. You will always have the bond with your little boy; trust me, it doesn't go away. I know from how much love my husband and I feel for Ashley and her sisters and how many times we talk about them. When we talk about our little terror, our lovebugGracie, and our sweet, sweet Kiwi who tried to act so tough, we feel such overwhelming love and happiness. We talk about how Jolie learned to smile by imitating the way my husband looked when he saw her. When I brought Ashley to the vet, and the staff there would tell me how much they loved my other girls, it made me feel really happy that others remembered them. The pain is still there and it's deep, but it's not the pain that I feel right now after losing Ashley. It doesn't go away, but it eases in time. I knew with each passing year that it was going to be devastating to lose Ashley, but I poured my heart into her and gave her my complete love. It is what I owed her, and my feelings were so overwhelming, that I couldn't have pulled away even if I had wanted to. I don't ever want to move on and forget about these feelings--the pain or the love. But that doesn't mean I won't be able to live and feel happiness. You brought Poppy into your life, and I think that is wonderful. You may be trying to put your little boy out of your mind, but that's because it's too painful for you right now. That's how you are dealing with the grief, and that's what you need to do right now if it's right for you. You are being such a wonderful mommy to your precious Poppy, and I hope she melts away your grief in time. If I can help you in any way, please let me know. Give little Poppy some kisses for me. |