Sorry you are having problems with your harness! I use this leather step-in harness and LOVE it! It slides on around their legs and chest, doesn't touch their neck at all. Mine do great with it and it is even gentle on the hair too!
This is the skull one.
Step in harness with crystal skull slider - Step-In Harnesses
And this is the bone one, if you aren't into skulls.
Step in harness with crystal bone slider - Step-In Harnesses
Let me know if you have any other questions or concerns that I can help you with!