the next product i am going to add to our routine is C.E.T. AquaDent. i saw good reviews online for this product. so i am going to try.
don't give up. i really thought i couldn't brush milu's teeth either. but then one day i made up my mind that i must do it. so i just started trying, and i was amazed that she would let me.
i understand your pain though because milu fights me so much when i try to clip her nails that i just dont feel like i can do it myself, i had to take her to the groomers. and two groomers had to work together to cut a 3lb dog's nails. lol.
i understand how you feel about not wanting to scare her. i don't want milu to dislike me either, but i still really want to be able to groom her myself. so i am trying different things. i bought the dremel thingy for her nails. i am going to try that next. and i only cut one nail a day. anymore than that will just be impossible and she will hate me for it too. so i understand where you are coming from. i feel bad, but i don't see any other ways around it especially with teeth.