I can't give you much advice but sure hope you will find a solution for all of you.
My hubby always had big dogs, GSD and Setter, and first he wasn't impressed when I said I wanted a small dog. But once he saw Merlin he just fell in love and now he just spoils him rotten. Now he thinks it was the perfect choice.
We had someone over the other day and he has a Husky and told us he killed racoons, porcupines, birds and that small dogs don't like his. Boy, was I relieved he didn't bring his dog over!
Good luck
