I think you need her as much as she needs you, i think she has made her choice by licking you the way your little Katie did, she wants you to be her new mommy.
You and your husband deserve to be happy so stop punishing yourself by feeling guilty, i can promise you that, thats the last thing Katie would want you to do ... she will never leave you, she knows your a loving family and wants you to love again.
God works in mysterious ways, just accept what he brings on your path and know theres a reason for everything
Good luck and please keep us posted, remember we are right here for you
