First, I commend you for being so brave and telling us how you felt
And I'm so glad that you've fallin in love with him. It doesn't take long to realize how special they can be.
When I read your first post, my eyes got HUGE...only because it took me right back to where I was when I first brought Harley home. However, I didn't want people to know what I was experiencing for fear of criticism. I see now how supportive everyone is....and also surprised at the similar experiences of some. I don't feel so bad now
I had wanted a yorkie since I was a little girl and like you, had searched and searched for close to 6 months before finding the breeder I would get her from. I was SO excited and overjoyed leading up to the pick-up date. I even had it marked on my calendar as "Harley Day!" LOL. When I first went and met her, she was only 4 weeks old. I signed a contract and then had to wait for 8 weeks....I thought that was the longest 8 weeks EVER....I did SO much research that I had a specific idea in my mind of how everything would go...the training, the playing, the crating....everything! I've come to learn that I set unrealistic expectations and then when things don't meet those expectations, I freak. I picked her up and just loved her to pieces! The first 2 days were great...I was in awe of her. However, day 3 set in and so did reality....for the very first time in my life, I had a living breathing baby who relied soley on ME for everything. I didn't know what to do...completely overwhelmed. I was emotional, anxious and exhausted! There were many times when I would question myself and say "Why in the world did I get a puppy?" I was literally a nervous wreck, and I felt retarded because I begged my husband for her...and in my mind, I WAS READY! If you had told me that I would be in that situation, I would have said you're CRAZY. But, that's how it happened and fortunately, I had great support from family and friends and I stuck it out because when I looked at her, or held her in my arms I knew it was love. She will be a year old next month, and honest to God, I don't know what I'd do without her. She is my baby and I love her so much...sometimes I think a little to much
I even had her in my wedding LOL. She brings me so much happiness and joy. I look forward to coming home from work and seeing her. When I have a bad day, I just think about playing with her and snuggling her. With time, you will look back, like I do now, and laugh at the hard times....I PROMISE that you will get through it and everything will fall into place. I will keep you in my prayers
Good luck!!