Today marks the end of a 3 year relationship. I'm at such a loss for what to do. Right before the holidays too. I just can't imagine any worse timing. Things were rough I'll admit that but I'm the kind of person that believes in working things out together.. but HE isn't. So he decided that it was best to "take a break". I've been in enough relationships to know that taking a break hardly ever turns out to be just a break. I'm heartbroken. I feel like I'm going to go crazy. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach, my legs are like jello & I feel like my head is going to explode.
I'm kicking myself for letting myself ever get so involved with somebody. It almost makes me feel like I'm the idiot. I just can't understand how you can give your all to someone, do everything you can to be there for them and still have it not be enough. I feel so useless. There were things I did that bugged him, he told me & I went and did my best to change them but it just wasn't enough.
The worst part about the whole thing for me though is the friends that I want to turn to are his friends too (we are in the same circle of friends and thats how we met). He was with them all tonight while I drove around aimlessly in a snow storm not even knowing what to do with myself. My once best friend who was my go to girl is no longer my friend. I have no one to go to. So here I am YTers, writing to you
Ugh. And to top everything off I have a very short fuse, so while we're on the phone (YES he did it over the phone
) I got upset and threw my phone against the dash of my car and its not longer working. Brand new phone too & I just spent 90% of my paycheck this week on Christmas presents. I sure hope I have an old one laying around somewhere and I can return his present tomorrow to pay to get my number transferred to another phone.
I feel like such a wreck
