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Originally Posted by alisonJ  You are being too hard on yourself. If your husband cheated, why would you automatically assume that YOU failed in some way or lacked something? Your reaction is not unusual, by the way. Why do women do this???? What is this self-loathing that women have? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
And why are women so quick to hold a grudge against another woman, a woman she may not even know, and yet forgive the man who is supposed to love and honor her???.
look at it this way....if you clawed out the eyes of the other woman, would that make things better between you and your husband? Of course not. Because the problem is not the other woman--the problem is your husband.
He will just find someone else to cheat with.
Men are not stupid, nor are they defenseless against the wiles of an attractive, seductive woman. I think some men would like women to think this, because it takes away their accountability, and puts all the fault on the evil temptresses....women. If a man cheats, he is doing it because he has chosen to do so. Plain and simple.
fyi, this does not mean I think women should go out and have affairs with married men. I would never recommend that because it is a waste of time, and very rarely do such relationships lead to committed, stable relationships. The woman usually gets hurt and feels used, and the man is not available to be with her when she might really need him to help through a tough time, etc. AND a man who will cheat on his wife will later cheat on his mistress. Rule of thumb: Once a cheater, always a cheater. |
First off I didnt say that I would be ready to FORGIVE my husband. I said I would still love him. I would feel nothing for this woman, no love for sure! I didnt say I would have thought I failed. I said, I would wonder what she did for him? You can angle this way 10 ways. Bottom line is, EVERY woman would care. You can try to convince me you wouldnt, but you are human, you get mad, you get angry & in that moment, I dont think you would only blame your husband. You can believe that, but I don't. Ellin Woods has already contacted 1 of the women! Why do you think that is? Because she cares and she has something to say to her! AGAIN--what he did was wrong, but no worse than the trash that has been on TV telling their stories. One of them ticked off Kathie Lee on the morning show, did yall hear about that? These women are TRASH. If you wanna believe they didnt have motives and they didnt know who he was....go ahead and continue to be snowed. lol