Our Rat Terrier, Ripley, is afraid of woman with long dark blond hair and men in tool belts. (The woman I got him from had long dark blond hair, if that tells you anything.) We have been working with him with regard to fear issues for quite a while and are making great progress.
The tool belt issue was easiest. We had three different friends come in wearing tool belts at different times. They came into the living room and sat on the floor and talked with us, ignoring Ripley and giving him the chance to smell them. They continued to ignore him as he approached and made initial contact. After contact, they talked him gently, and turned attention back to us. As he became more interested and less nervous, they would scratch his chest. We provided treats, in Rip's view, for them to give to him. No matter how long it took, they stayed on the floor until Ripley was comfortable enough to put feet upon them and didn't run when they moved or repositioned. When he was that confident, they moved to the couch and started again.
With this approach, we have gotten Ripley to the point where he is fine, unless a man in a toolbelt takes something from said belt quickly. Then he still will run and hide. However, he no longer sees the person as an immediate threat.
You might try something similar with male friends who are willing to help.
I wish you luck and wish your ex all the karma he has collected. |