Hi you wonderful YT'ers.
I just got home from the emergency clinic and logged in. It is sooooo hearwarming to read your posts and feel your warm hugs and prayes. I live on my own, with my furbabies, in a city faaaaar away from my family. Even my boyfreind lives in another city (he's on a flight over as we speak). You guys have no idea how much it means to me to have you with me on this. Seriously, I cannot believe the amount of support i'm getting. I'm so glad I posted this thread and decided to share this with a bunch of poeple that I haven't even met. Believe me, I'm not the "sharing" type. I'm the "superwoman" that is supposedly "strong" enough to deal with everything on her own with no help. Bit believe me, this is crushing me to pieces and I'm soooo glad I changed my ways at least this once. I will be forever grateful to you guys for being there for me. Maybe Ishoud just revisit my ways altogether. Maybe I need to reach out more.
For all of you guys, please go and hug every single one of your furbabies right now, and squeeze them and tell them how much you love them, and how much they have enriched your lives in so many levels. I did just that tonight when I had Missy in my arms.
Ok, and here's the update: went to the hospital. They put me in a room with her, told me that the vet will be back in 15 minutes to discuss. I held Missy so tight, and baby talked in her ears, told her how much I love her, and how much of a good girl she is. She wassuch an angel, but she looked soooo weak and dazed out it broke my heart :'( Then the vet came in. She basically explained my options: 1. Putting her to sleep right now. 2. Putting her on this medicated IV for the next three days to try and drain the lungs as much as possible and then send her home on Monday. She told me that will cost me another few thousand, and it still doesn't mean that she will make it. She told me that I should expect a "call" any minute, because this treatment is going to help the lungs, but will be VERY hard on the kidneys. and with her pre-existing kidney failure, chances are.....
I told her that I have to give Missy another chance. I just HAVE to. I know money will come back one way or another but nothing can ever bring Missy back to me. BUT, I told her that if at any time it gets to the point that she gives up, then I'm still firm on my DNR decision. (I'm still praying to god to forgive me if that's not the right decision, but I just can't see my baby suffer, she is the best dog that can ever be,and she deseves the best).
I left her there and they started the treatment. This may very well be the last time I ever saw her alert (the vet was not so sure that her little kidneys will endure) and leaving that room was the hardest thing I have ever done, but she had to go back to her little oxygen tent. They told me that she is everyone's fave in the ICU section, she is just soooo sweet, and soooo eager to please everyone that goes over to say hi. Oh my little baby princess, you are the best! NO other dog will ever be like you...EVER!
Words cannot describe how hearbroken I am right now. I just want her to pull throuh this sooooooooooooooo bad. I want to bring her home on Monday after the three day treatment is over. I want her to be home with her mommy and sibblings and her favorite bed when the "unmentionable" happens. And I want her to go in peace, with a smile on her face, while I whisper in her ears that I love her more that she will ever know!
Ok, better go feed Biggie and Sushi. Then I will take a shower, and as soon as my bf gets in, we're going back to the clinic. I CANNOT stand staying at home knowing my baby is there. |