If I could wish your problems away, I truly would. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time! I do think you need to seek some professional help and I also agree that the medication just sort of numb things but I'm not sure how much they actually get to the root of your problems. I have not been thru what you have been thru on the other hand, I have had difficulties in my life. My mom was sick with cancer for about 7 years before she passed away, leaving me at age 18 to raise my younger siblings. My father was an abusive alcoholic who actually beat my sick mother. Can you imagine? I could tell you stories but suffice it to say, I know that life is not always easy. But despite the things I've had to deal with, this is my life and I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's problems. Along with the pain and heartache, I have also been able to fine the joy in life and to recognize that without that pain, maybe I would not have found true happiness either. I think some of it comes from realizing that I always have choices to make. I can choose to take the easy way or I can choose to take the right path. I always try to choose the right path even when it's incredibly hard. I try to be the person my kids will be proud of, the kind of person my mother would have been proud of. Am I perfect, No! I pray daily and without God in my life, I think I'd be a terrible failure. I hope somehow you can find your way back and also find a way to forgive yourself. Sometimes that's the hardest thing in life to do. I will be praying for you..... |