Twalla, I wonder that too sometimes! I think its a perfectly natural thing to wonder! I wonder it about humans! Why is my mom sick when she always took such good care of her health. She didn't smoke, didn't really drink, always kept in shape, drank her 8 glasses of water a day, kept active and busy and yet she got sick. Then I see someone who chained smoked, is an alcoholic, tries to commit suicide (this is my aunt) and gets her doctors tests back and she is healthy as a horse!
Life does not seem fair sometimes! Whatcha gonna do! You deal with the hand you were dealt!
I'm sorry about Charlie. I lost a little one and I know the pain, it can stay for a very long time and the guilt and the what ifs... Charlie is still in your heart and thats the best place for him to be!