I agree, teenagers are tough..it's tough on them going through it and tough on you living through it. Our boys are 21 and 23, both are living on their own, graduated from college and self-supporting. We are thankful everyday for how well they turned out.
I also agree that a united front with you and your husband is a must. You need to sit down with him, (when your not mad) and ya'll need to agree on how you will handle him and you both need to live up to what you agreed on. This alone, I think, will help you tremendously.
I also agree that the back-talking and disrespectful words need to stop. I personally wouldn't let him play baseball at all if this is how I was treated. That should be a privilege he earns, not a given. I would also stop the money fountain when he does not deserve it. I would tell him that you will be spending YOUR money on YOURself, until he learns how to treat you. Your not his doormat, don't let him treat you like one. If he sees your serious...you might see some big changes in attitude. At this point, it couldn't hurt to try it. I wish you all the best, I know it's hard living through it. Venting helps
