Wow... who knew a cats life could be so stressful!
My friends cat was stressed before and she was pulling her fur out and the vet suggested this thing that plugs into the wall to help with stress. It has like a bottle with something in it and it warms it up and emits vapours. No clue what it is but the cat stopped pulling her fur out though and she was stress free.
Are you getting a cat tree? You could make one and then it would co ordinate with your home and not look too out of place.