Well... to be honest I'm not 100% old fashioned. I did have my boyfriend sleep over a few times when I first moved out, he was my security blanket!!! I fell apart those first few nights alone. But he doesn't have a key, and he always calls ahead of time to make sure he can come over. It's our thing, it's what we're comfortable with and what works for us, I'm repeating myself but to each his own, right? I just didn't like that your friend said in "American culture" that would be a red flag. Not from what I've seen on TV!!
Both of my roommates are asian, totally different cultures between them, and they both have caucasion boyfriends. They both have keys to their boyfriends houses. It's ok and natural to them, I'm apparently the "weird" one in the group.
I will say one thing that you might want to consider... if she really is having such a hard time with her bf and really truly likes to share with you, it's kinda hard to open up with someone that is rubbing a great, fun, exciting new relationship in their face. When I got dumped by my last boyfriend I was truly heartbroken. At the same time my bestfriend was starting a new relationship. She new I was having a hard time and invited me for breakfast before school to talk. Well guess who showed up for breakfast.... yup, her new bf. They were hugging and giggling and making puppy eyes at each other the whole time reminding me what I had just lost, at least it seemed that way at that moment anyway. That hurt, it really did. She wasn't being insensitive on purpose she just wasn't thinking. Anyway, 4 years later no harm done, I was the maid of honor at her wedding and she probably be my maid of honor too..
Man I talk (type) WAY too much!!! Take your time, take in everyones advice, and then decide how to approach the situation. Good luck!!!
PS. Si hablo espanol!! It'd be hard to watch mi novelas if I didn't!
