You are in my thoughts and prayers. You remind me so much of myself, my husband and our Roxy and TJ. It is just us. I am 33, husband is 40 - TJ and Roxy are 4 y/o and they are the Light and Love of our lives.
I am hurting with you, as this is exactly how Me and my Husband will feel and grieve when we are faced with the passing our one of ours.
I lost a person that was everything to me when I was 23
- boy did my life change in that instance. I don't think I handled it the best way, but I was young and did what made me get thru the best way I knew how at the time.
Some of the things that helped me and still do is my talking to him, sometimes in my head and sometimes out loud. I also have a very special sign and it makes me feel really happy when I see it. I don't know why things happen, but there are reasons, and I know how tough it is to think that we have to wait a long time to see them and find out why, but just think about how exciting it will be when we are reunited ~ that's what keeps me going....
I know that pain and hurt and the feeling of no control when we loose a special person, so I am so fearful to go thru that again, but I also know there's no way of stopping it, so I try to focus on 'when we meet again'.
I don't know if this helped you at all, but I am draw to you and just wanted to share