I recently went through a similar thing with my boyfriend. At the time we lived together we adopted a havanese/poodle mix and a morkie. I adored (still do) these pups and we tried the joint custody thing when we split up. My boyfriend stayed in the home we had shared, while I moved to a condo. Well....the dogs went back and forth and it was a disaster. When Riley and Bella were in the apartment with me, they barked incessantly, had terrible separation anxiety and were generally miserable. Even though we had both owned these pups, I considered them mine, I had purchased the morkie myself, and I was their primary caregiver. I worked with a trainer and cried for days because my pups were just not happy living in an apartment. After months of this and my neighbors banging on my door to complain about the noise, the trainer suggested that Riley and Bella stay with my ex and I would have them in the apartment only when I wasn't going to leave them alone. Finally, she suggested that I might want to start a new puppy family in my new home and voila, I now have my two beautiful Yorkies, Sadie and Joey. I still love Riley and Bella, of course, and now when they visit all four play together beautifully. I think the point of my rambling was that it just wasn't fair to the dogs to expect them to go back and forth. One should be the owner, and maybe the boyfriend can spend an hour or two here or there with the dog on occasion, could even be your pet sitter if you are on good terms. |