Max just had his neuter 2 weeks ago Monday.
I was just like you are now.
He was a sickly boy when we brought him home and they thought he might have or still have auto immune issues. I waited until he was 9 months to get him neutered.
Even now his incission got infected
and I am treating him with meds.
I know how you are feeling.
Make sure the vet knows how you feel and have a vet tech or receptionist call and update you when she goes into surgery, comes out, has recovered, ...
I did and I felt better knowing what was going on and when.
Max and I are sending you big hugs!