hi, if it helps to know i'm crying with you....still over my little man, spike. i cannot stop...i try to do something like rake leaves or play with my other dogs and then i cry...it just won't stop so i know exactly how you feel.. it may sound nutty but i started reading about dogs and NDE's (near-death experiences) that people have and many of the people who've had an NDE are greeted by not only relatives but firstly, their beloved dogs... all who have had dogs in their life say that one of the first beings to be with them when they "die" is their pet(s). then of course the person doesn't die, they "come back" to their body and are not afraid to die as the know they will be eternally with their pets and family....it's just comforting to read although nobody truly knows. i don't know what else to do with my devastation besides cry...i also just keep thinking if i made the right decision that nite instead of trying to hook him up to fluids and drugs and things to help....but the tumor in his chest i know was so very big and his fever was so very high, if not that nite then maybe the next nite would have been his last...
I hope in time you feel better....17 years of a dogs unconditional love is amazing. just know many folks are thinking about you at this time. jg - spike's
family