At 5:15 this morning we lost one of Zoe's puppies. I did all I knew how to for him. He was born the second biggest and kept gaining weight but not at the rate the other two were. He then dropped almost an ounce over night. I discovered it when I weighed him, as usually in the morning yesterday. i began tube feeding him. He was too weak to nurse. He was doing better this morning at his 1:30 feeding but it was not meant that he should stay with us. This is right up there on the hardest things I have ever had to deal with list. Zoe is just laying with him and she is so sad. I thought for sure I could save him. I wonder what I did wrong and then I realize that he probably wasn't right from birth. I hope there wasn't something I did wrong.
We just buried my nephew who fought a long battle with drugs and finally ended his own life. His funeral was yesterday. If that wasn't enough, now we have lost a little pup and my kids are going to be devestated. I feel so bad for Zoe! How am I going to work today? This is a time when being a sole proprietor is not a good thing! I am just sick....I never want to go through this again.
Sorry....I am ranting and it won't do any good. I am going to try and just focus on the other two healthy butter balls and move forward. What else can I do....poor Zoe. |