[mblab]

Originally Posted by Darlin Beauxs

Vicky,

Thanks for taking the time to type out such a thoughtful response. Some of the issues you brought up are ones that I have worried about in secret.

Addiction is so hard, not just for the obvious but for EVERYTHING that's involved. You should be so proud for being as strong as you've been! None of it is easy, even in the best situation.

I "freaked out" when she tried to kill herself. I know some people aren't religious, but I had this voice that spoke to me, very calm, and it said "get her help, now. Don't allow her to return to her home, not even for a minute". A month after she was there, we discovered she was pregnant. I don't think any of this is coincidence.

Yes, she was forced in to rehab. I took the power of attorney there, and me, her sister, and her mother, sat down with the case worker, and I explained to her she had no alternative-remember the Dr. agreed to keep her there. As pitiful as it may sound, she said she would have agreed to do anything because she had already been in the psych ward for a week w no smokes. We told her that if she walked out of the rehab (which she has done before) no one would be giving her a place to stay.

In her situation it does seem like a really good thing that she was removed from such a bad situation!

The rehab is christian based, and they just opened a home for mothers and children. Almost all the ladies there that I can think of are court mandated, except for one other.

Faith based programs can be really effective, that in itself shouldn't influence the quality of the program. The status of the other ladies might not influence her, but her being a forced client does matter. While she may have been willing, as the doctor suggested when you met him, to have signed up since she was going through withdrawals she is still there on a forced basis.

We come from a small rural town, and we are as middle class as they come. She is with some really rough criminal girls. I think it has been a shock for her in that aspect.

For such an area you're lucky any program like this exists! I'm in a somewhat large-medium sized town and we don't even have some of the really needed programs locally. Sometimes people can learn from being "scared straight", from seeing how severe the other ladies are. You said she feels better than everyone else in the program, but if she sees any shared ground between them (which means she's have to have insight in order to realize this) then she might gain something from it. Also know that court ordered facilities are really different from volunteer (a person goes of their own free will) tend to differ, and sometimes the court ordered facilities are harsher (less funding) and they sometimes take a harsher take on the residents.

I don't know if any of the counselors there are accredited. I do know they have a child psychologist who sees the children, and a licensed dietician. I would say about 90% of the employees there are former residents in the program.

To be an "accredited" counselor you need to have a degree in Social Work, Psychology, and a few other fields (that include topics of mental health, general counseling, and/or addictions). There are licensures that a person can have, but they're not always necessary. If the people in the program have no education in those fields (with a supervisor having at least masters degree in one of those fields) than it's not a "real" rehab. Anyone (especially something that's faith based) can open their doors, talk about "don't do drugs", but none of their practices are based on research. There's something called "evidence based practice" which means that what they're doing has been research and found to be effective and is considered by the field to be an appropriate technique.

And you do find that a lot of people that work in this field have suffered from an addiction themselves. It can be a really effective thing, seeing first hand that you can change and improve your situation.

Also, that's great that there's someone that works with the children, that's really important! It's also really important for the client to get counseling too though!

I wanted no part of the money situation to begin with, but stepped in when I realized she would have NOTHING if I didn't. I was going to turn the money over to the rehab, but she says that other client's who have been there say that servicing fees were deducted from their funds (like jail), and they were strongly encouraged to donate to programs the rehab has going on. I don't know how to ask about this. They have a reputation in the community for being cult-like, but I have attended their church, and support meetings, and I agree with almost EVERYTHING they say.

She works a 20 hr per week job in their daycare for them, and they deduct 20% of her check for meals and lodging (I think this is acceptable)

Money, in any situation, is always difficult and complicated. In this situation, it may just be better for the facility to handle her money. If nothing else she'd be in control of what's going on and she can't blame any one else (even if the church takes out money or convinces her to give them money). There are people/places that can give some help, funding wise, to people that are struggling (such as someone that's just finished rehab). Maybe she should give the church the authority to handle her money and even though they'll take a lot of it, it will have been her responsibility. And when she's sober and well enough to be on her own she can try to improve her situation (especially if she's working and making money!).

My biggest fear is that your friend isn't going to gain one bit from this experience. And if she doesn't it's no one's fault but her own (and the facility's if they're not an effective facility). You can work with someone to improve their situation but in the end you can only go as far as the person wants to go. If she truly wants to continue her addictions she will. If she wants to isolate herself/surround herself with "bad" people she will. As tough as it is there's only so much you can do, it's up to her.

I can't tell you how many ladies have told me their stories, detailing 3, 4, 6, 7 previous experiences in rehab. All said that those previous experiences they really didn't want to change so it did nothing for them. (I worked in a residential treatment facility for women with addictions, and they did have very limited space for women with children, that also allowed part time work; however it was not faith based.)

Bottom line, from what little I know, I'm afraid this program is more a church helping support ladies get over addiction and not a rehab or treatment facility. With your friend being a resistant client (not being there on her own) that makes a really tough scenario for a good outcome. That said there are people that use religion as a healing thing and can overcome the harshest of problems, but that's almost a fluke. It takes a lot of help (from the person and people around them) to make a change. Just be aware of the situation she's in and do what you feel is best for her AND you!

-Vicky