Quote:
Originally Posted by margaritaville  I know it's hard but you need to sit down and look at priorities.
1. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
2. You have a family of your own (and children) Children do not need to be exposed to this behavior.
3. Your husband (and you?) is working to make ends meet in this ecomony and by supporting her you are taking away from your own family. She has shown by her selfish, drug and alcohol related behavior that she really could care less about others.
4. She is not your responsibility. I commend you for trying to accept it but her own family has had enough. She needs to accept responsibilty for herself and not blame others for her misfortune. I feel for this child but the child is not your resposibility. Hopefully something good will happen for the child but if she continues on this road.....
5. She has an outside visit coming up---do they test her when she returns for drugs and alcohol?
I wish you luck. Please do not feel you have failed her--she has to take the responsibility and until she is able to do that she will continue to use and blame others. I would just explain to her once and for the last time that you love her as a friend but that the time has come that you need to take care of yourself for a change. |
Yes, she has an off-site visit coming up, next weekend. But she will have to stay at the rehab because I am NOT getting her, and her Mother still has to come to 3 more support meetings before she can take her the second week in December. Her sister's husband will not allow her to come to his house, because she begged for them to pick her up, asked them to take her to the store to fill her prescriptions, and then she od'ed in their back seat. They didn't know what she had done until they got back to their home and she was too incoherent to get out of the vehicle. Their kids were in the house, and could have witnessed it all, so he has a major grudge. (I don't blame him)
They keep making excuses for her, and chalk all this up to us being tired of another. I know they are upset, because they know she will be relying on them for everything.
To answer someone elses question, I have not supported her financially SINCE she has been in rehab. I got power of attorney, opened an account for her, and only withdraw a small amount of money per week for the things she needs/wants, within reason. We always pay for her meals out/entertainment when she is with us though, because we wanted her dollars to last to buy baby items. But she has not purchased the first thing, and she is due January 26th.
I never wanted to be in control of her money, but her sister AND mother were stealing from her. The first thing they did with her last pay checks, was pay themselves back for the money they felt she owed them, and then paid all her back utilities, etc (which could have waited), but her mother wanted everything up to date, because she was going to try to buy the house FOR HERSELF. So when my friend needed cigs and tolietries, they told her they had no money.
My husband and I bought her everything she needed, I drew up a revokation and had her sign it, made myself power of attorney (because she didn't want the rehab in control of her money) , and changed her address so I was able to get her state and federal income tax checks, which was about $2600.
Yes, they do test her regularly. She hasn't had an opportunity to get any drugs or alchohol since she has been there, because the only time she has been free is with me. I poured all my beer down the sink before her first visit, and hid my vodka in the garage
. As selfish as she is, I still don't think she would do anything to knowingly harm the baby (other than still smoke)