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Originally Posted by Patti  I am sorry you are having to deal with so much. You have been a wondeful friend and while she has so many issues you can ony do so much for someone. they have to help themselves. You could end of destroying your marriage and more friendships. Maybe in a session with her and the counselor you can tell her you will be there for her but set some rules when she visits etc. Hopefully one day when she works through her problems she will see who was there for her. Good luck you sound like a very special person. |
Thank You. I told her up front what the rules were when she visited. I told her I expected her to participate in whatever I had going on, whether it be a movie, a non-alcoholic party, etc. I have had something planned EVERY visit, because the rehab says they are supposed to learn what sober people do. It has been as simple as having the neighbor kids over to play wii, and eat popcorn and sodas, or go to a movie. She is always reluctant to do it, but ended up having a blast.
The other rules are the rehab's for home visits, no phone calls except family, no male visitors, and NO isolation. What is the point of her coming here if she just wants to hole up in her room?
Anyway, if she would have walked over there, sat for 30 minutes, and told me she was tired, I would have understood. It p'ed me off she wouldn't make an effort. It didn't benefit her, so she didn't care who she embarrassed. My neighbors kept apologizing and asking what they did to make her want to leave. My husband told them that she isn't interested in anything other than sitting alone and drinking.
She tried to say she was embarrassed because we are all the same age (34) and she was the only one single, pregnant in rehab. I really feel she has some deep seated animosity towards me because I am married.