sweetie... as everyone before me said... you are a VERY strong BEAUTIFUL woman! reading all of these post from people on here has made me think of a few things....
1. no matter how hard you try to "hide it" your family already knows
its not a very good secret because your body is giving you away...
2. like a lot of people on here have said you NEED HELP!!
3. you need to throw out your scales... and not look in the mirror for awhile...
and the list can go on and on... but I want to tell you my little secret... when I was 7 years old my mother died from breast cancer. then my Dad remarried 11 months after... not giving his children enough time to grieve... and on top of that she was the EVIL step mother... when I was 12 I think I was in a size 2 or so... my dad told me I was too fat... so I started looking at my friends and compering myself... I had a friend where guys could wrap their arm around her waist... so I stopped eating... at the time I was dealing with my mothers death, my father marring the EVIL step mother, her son sexually abusing me, and my family being torn apart... I ended up being pushed off to the side... being physically, mentally, and emotionaly abused by my father and his wife... and would get "kicked out" of my home, and then they would call the police on me... I ended up going to a foster home. and got to a point where I felt comfortable enough to eat again... then my foster mom started... she is someone that is really sick herself... so when I gained weight... she would say to me... "we need to go on a diet" so I went on all of the diets you can imagine and it wasnt good enough for her... so I stopped eating once again and started exercising ALL the time... I would wake up early go walking/jog 3 miles then I would get home shower get ready for school, go to school and I had dance and drill, and arobics then I would get home do homework then eat a fistful of dinner then I would go to my room and do a work out video then repeat EVERYDAY... after about 3 weeks my foster mom then said to me "Jessica you are getting too skinny, too fast" so I ALWAYS felt that I wasnt good enough for ANYONE... I think at that point I felt like I couldnt make anyone happy no matter WHAT I did... it just wasnt good enough... so I turned to find love in ALL the WRONG places... and ended up getting hit by a car... and I was in bed for about a month... thats the only way I got out of it.. but now instead of not eating thats all I do is EAT... so THANK YOU for posting this! it has made me realize I too NEED HELP! I feel like you really need to talk to your husband with a counselor or doctor... Im sure he knows but I think he is just trying to not see it ... so it kind of makes him as sick as you are in a way... Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry you have to go through this... I would wish this on NO ONE!!! its my own personal HELL... I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!! and I hope you take some advice from these loving SMART people on here... and open up to at least your mom...
HUGS and LOTS AND LOTS of PUPPY KISSES!!!