I'm so sorry for your loss
I lost my little Peanut on January 2 of this year. It was so cold that day and the wind was blowing. He ran when I let him out to potty and was hit by a car. I still see him laying there in the road, his hair blowing. I couldn't believe it, it didn't seem real. I took a step toward him and turned back and then turned toward him again and then back. When I heard another car coming, I ran into the road screaming and fell to my knees! I still didn't believe it, I was in shock. A woman stopped and asked me if this was my pet and I couldn't talk to her I just screamed, until my neighbor came out and called my son down. They picked him up and put him in a box and carried him home. I sat on the couch w/ my face in my hands rocking back and forth. I was scared to open my eyes. It made it too real. I grieved for months, I cried for days on end. I brought my Golden Retriever in the house and she hates being in the house. She and I sat in the kitchen and I just hugged her and cried. She knew why I was sad and I believe she was sad too. She was with me when I found my Peanut in the road.
Finally knowing how grief stricken I was, my Dad put a deposit down on little yorkie for me that wasn't even born yet. At first I didn't want her, but here we are 8 months later to the day and I have two little girls, Abby and Daisy. They are the light of my life! I still miss my Peanut with all my heart and would give almost anything to have him back. I think about him playing with my girls, I think about my son walking in the door and Peanut running to him and my son saying "Yes Peanut, Yes!" and how excited he got...he was the dearest sweetest little boy. He touched my heart in ways I can't explain and I learned so much from him.
I've had dogs all my life, but I had never bonded w/ one before like I did Peanut, and now my girls. I have more pictures of Peanut in my livingroom than I do my grandkids!
Here's a poem I found right after Peanut died that touched me. I was questioning God and how he could give me such a precious gift and take it from me so quickly.
This helped ease the pain a bit. But in answer to your question. I would say, Abby helped me with my grief. Looking forward to her coming home and preparing for her, really helped me get through it.
Quote:
I'll lend you for a little time, a dog of mine God said.
For you to love while she lives and mourn when she is dead.
The years they may be six or ten or even as few as three.
But will you, 'til I call her back, take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you, and shall her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this dog to learn.
I've looked the wide world over, in my search for masters true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give her your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call to take her back again?
We answered in sincerity, Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy this dog shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness, and love her while we may,
And for the happiness we will know, we'll ever grateful stay.
But shall the angels call for her much sooner than we planned,
We'll know the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
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I don't think Peanut learned anything, he already knew...I'm the one who learned so much.
After Peanut was gone, I prayed while I cried myself to sleep at night and asked the Lord to please let Peanut know how much I loved him and how sorry I was that I let him down, that I wasn't there for him when he needed me. I promised that if I were ever lucky enough to have another little dog that I would care for it and protect it with my life, just as I had and would my children. I also prayed that if there was a dog that needed me, that it would find me. And they did. 9 days after Abby came home, I got a call out of the blue about Daisy and she has been a God send for me, my husband and son I know I was meant to be with Abby and Daisy and Peanut was sent here to teach me things that nobody else could. I just wish he could have stayed longer. In memory of Peanut, I'd like to raise awareness about animal abuse and neglect. I do what I can each and everyday and I hope to do more and more.
Thank You for letting me share. It helps to just type this all out. I hope something I said or shared will help in some way.
God Bless.