Originally Posted by leipshen  I believe that grieving is a very individual and personal process. We are all so different and unique in so many ways. We lead different lives , and have different upbringings. there are so many circumstances that shape each individual , determining how they will respond to the loss of one they love.. If you add to this, the differing circumstances that bring about the losses in our lives, it is understandable that each of us will have to find our own way to go through the grief process.
The most important factor is this....When we lose a loved one, we are in pain. Our pain can be so excruciating that it is often just too difficult to think reasonably or try to use any rationalization in an effort to get through it.
My husband died at 43 yrs old from a massive heart attack. There were no warning signs. It was completely unexpected. One moment he was there telling me to get ready , he was taking us out to dinner to a new resturant and the next moment he was gone. we had been high school sweethearts and married for 20 yrs. We have two children 19 & 11 at the time. I went to pieces. I grieved , I cried, I spent hours doing picture collages on my walls, I handmade the urn which held Jimmy's ashes, I wrote poems, I drew his portrait (several times) , I also cared for my daughter who was 11 yrs old and thank The Lord my son stepped up and "grew up" very quickly to help me with so many details.
Yes time goes on...this is probably the greatest blessing. I have healed from Jimmy's death. I still miss him every day. i have since moved and no longer have my home looking like a shrine for Jimmy, however, his pictures are out and about. I can talk easily about him and and laugh at a funny memory. I have not re-married, however, there is no specific reason for this. My children are grown, it has been 8 yrs. I have many times seen the Blessings from God which have come from this experience.
I do know that the love I have for my precious Yorkie and also my Leipshen (mini Schnauzer) is as deep and consuming as the love I have for my human family. I do not feel the need to explain or apologize for this. Everyone has the right to love as they wish. My precious furbabies are all that I have with me daily. I sometimes will break into tears at the thought of when I lose them. The pain is exactly the same.
I love YT , the compassionate, understanding people here are a blessing to me. This site is not "only" about Yorkies , it is a blessed coming together of God's most caring people, reaching out and offering anything they can to a broken heart, or to laugh and share the wonderful things of our lives also. Every reply is a gift of caring. I know that when the day comes , that I must face the great pain of losing one of my furbabies...I will come directly to all of you here..and I will receive comfort.
So this has been long...I will close by saying that WHATEVER one must do to make them feel better is good. To try and forget, or let go too soon, will only cause feelings of guilt to emerge later, although it hurts, it is good to work through the pain. Don't try to be too strong, allow yourself to mourn and also celebrate the precious one you lost.
REMEMBER ...YOU "WILL" SEE THEM AGAIN1
Patti |