I have no experience with the Demodex, never even seen it, but i read about it... sorry for that. As far as home treatment on my state there is help, if it is a prescription and the vet teaches you to use, you are ENTITLED to ask for a prescription to use it at home so it will be less expensive on you.... It may be very poisonous and that would be the reason why your vet did not suggest you do it? Research and see if you can ask for the prescription. I hope you can do it at home.
The ear i can help. have you used a ear cleaner solution after each bath? Even in between baths you can use a ear cleaner solution. I get mine on PETEDGE.com, their own kind a 16 ounces bottle for 6.00 dollars the most !!! I use it regularly and keeps their ears clean and dry , free of infections. I think you can get any ear cleaning solution and will help you.
Good luck.
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