Oh I was just crying SO badly reading your post honey....I can just FEEL your pain just by reading the words....
I am SO SORRY. I beg you though,
PLEASE do not blame yourself. I did just that when I lost my Cocker Spaniel even though I KNOW in my heart that it was not my fault. It may or MAY NOT have been a med that the vet gave her - I am still not sure til this day, and that was over 2 years ago now (still hard to believe it's even been that long
) - but the point is, I drove myself CRAZY blaming myself....I had SO MUCH guilt, when in all honesty I had nothing to be guilty of. If taking your baby to the vet when she was sick and following the vets orders makes you guilty, then yes, I am guilty of that. Because that's all I ever did
Still, the thought of, "why didn't
I research the meds better?" - or, "maybe I should have had more tests done prior", and even the thought of taking her in to see the vet in the first place made me feel guilty, because only 2 days later she passed....anyway, I made myself SICK and severely DEPRESSED over it. Then finally, after some time had passed, I realized that I ONLY DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST FOR HER. What more could I have possibly done?
I still want her back so dang badly that I can't even stand it....but I only took her in because I knew she needed to be seen, and I only gave her those meds because that is what the vet told me to do.....we are only humans, not doctors....we as pet owners are supposed to do what THEY tell us. That's all we know
I am just SO incredibly sorry for your loss (more sorry than I can even put into words) and I really do hope that in time you will realize that NOTHING WAS YOUR FAULT. Your little Joey still loves you and always will, and he knows that you were only trying to do what was best for him.
I am thinking about you sweetie and will be saying prayers for you. Big hugs and please, please don't blame yourself